Adoption Month Part 2 - Carson

Since November - and National Adoption Month - are almost over, I guess it's time to post part 2 - Carson's story! Sadly, I didn't write in my journal about Carson's placement, but thanks to my scrapbook, I have some journaling. Although, Carson's experience, like Karlee's, was unforgettable! So, here goes:

We found out that Carson's birth mother had chosen us to be his parents 2 days after Christmas in 2001. What a Christmas present - huh! We were told that she had chosen us and that she was going to be having a boy at the end of January! We were thrilled! Karlee and I went straight to the store to buy boy stuff! We met with Kristen and her family on New Years Eve for our face-to-face meeting. It was so fun to meet with her and visit with her and her family. The Spirit whispered to us that this was Heavenly Father's will. We eagerly prepared for Carson's birth over the next month! Finally, on January 22, 2002, our case worker called us to let us know that Carson was here and that placement would more than likely take place on the 24th. We were so excited and relayed the news to our family and friends! However, unlike Karlee's "problem free" placement, Carson's was not going to be so easy. Carson's birth father stepped in at the last possible moment and registered his paternity. He was not going to sign the papers...he wanted Carson! We were devastated! I cried and cried and cried... People tried to offer support and sympathy by saying that "maybe this isn't your baby". But, I knew that he was supposed to be a part of our family. Our case worker called us on the 24th and told us that he didn't see this adoption happening! I prayed and prayed for a miracle. And then, finally, I prayed for peace - so that I could function! Peace finally came. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but I felt at peace. The next morning our case worker called us and said that the birth father wanted to meet with us. My first reaction was "no way...he's already put us through enough". But the the Spirit took over (literally) and out of my mouth came one word..."OK". Long story short...we met with him and his mother and brother along with his attorney and our caseworker. It was a long night and in the beginning, I just felt that there was no way that this angry birth father was ever going to change his mind. After a couple of hours, he went outside the restaurant with his brother, they were out t here for about 30 min. and when they came back in, I could tell and actually see that he had changed. I don't know exactly what happened outside that restaurant, but I do know that the Spirit once again took over. Once he came back in, he said that he would sign the papers. The only problem was that it was now Friday night, we would have to wait until Monday before anything could be done because he had issued a restraining order against the hospital and they could not release Carson. Monday came and went...bureaucratic stuff...finally on Tuesday, the Hospital was able to release Carson and placement could take place. This was Jan 29 - my birthday!

Here is what I recorded in the scrapbook as journaling: "We will never forget today or the wonderful feelings we had as your beautiful birth mother carried you in and handed you to mommy! You were so precious. There was so much love in the room. Your birth mother was surrounded by family and close friends who love her and you so much..."

One of the "rules" that had changed in between Karlee's placement and Carson's was that the birth mother could actually be present at placement...and not only that, but she could actually hand us Carson. What a humbling experience to be on one side of the room...so excited and happy...and then have the door open and have this beautiful girl, who's heart was breaking, walk across the room with Carson in her arms and hand him to us. There was so much love in that room! And it all came down to this great love for this little baby boy: love for him so strong, that all other feelings and wants were put aside in the interest of what was best for him.

In talking with Kristen before placement, we relayed our feelings and experiences of the past week. She had told us that she had asked for a blessing on Thursday night (the 24th). She was going to be released from the hospital and she was trying to decide what to do. All of a sudden she was faced with having to "parent" Carson when that hadn't been her plan. In talking with her, we determined that she was given this blessing at about the same time that I was praying for peace! In her blessing she was told to continue with her "plan" and that things would work out! That is just one of the many miracles that is our Carson!!!

~I remember Trent's mom telling me a few days after we brought Carson home that he must really have a special purpose on this earth for Satan to work so hard to try and keep him from being where he needed to be. As the years have passed and our sweet little guy has had health problems, has been diagnosed with a disability that kept him from speaking until he was 5 years old and other things, I have reflected on this. This little boy who means the world to us, who has definitely given (and continues to give) us a "run for our money", is where he is supposed to be. He is trying at times and I have learned to get over my OCD, because with Carson, I've had to learn to "go with the flow". But, he is the sweetest little boy that I know! He is loving and compassionate and considerate! He never leaves the house (even to play with friends) without saying I love you to me. Before he could talk, he would give me a big squeeze and make the sign for I love you! He tells me all of the time, "mom, I love you too much!"

I love LDS Family Service's statement: "Adoption...it's about love!!!"